Sometimes things must be said, and I guess this is one of them and it's really not about MX, so if you want to tune out I understand. Adventures here in Tortillaville are spasmodic at best and lately I've been searching for something to write about - like the seasonal exodus of the wild Canadian Snowbirds etc. - hopefully something funny with a good ending. I've generally stayed away from politics etc. as it's not what this blog is about - however, today there arrived at my doorstep something totally "political" that you'd have to consider an "adventure" (into madness) and so I'm going to dip my toe in the shallow end of the "reality pool" and share it with you - and by the way, the ending ain't gonna be happy!

They say you can depend on two things, death and taxes; you aren't going to make it out of this world alive and taxes, yes taxes, you can depend on them going up - or can you? - which brings me to today's adventure.

This being tax season (the annual gotcha from the goons in DC) I wasn't worried, you see in my dotage, life is simple and of course living in MX removes it one more giant step from being anything more than basic - you know, eat, sleep, feed the cats and get a hair cut at least 3 times a year. So, I wasn't worried like in all the working years past when tax time came and I had to work up the courage to dump out all the receipts, collect all the mortgage 1099's, W2's etc. and then jam them into TurboTax and pray for a miracle only to see the final "YOU OWE" number which instantly made your lips go numb and your finger tips tingle like being hit on the crazy bone by a 5lb hammer.

Last year my state in life had declined to being able to use the free, online tax program which is even efiled free - boy, retirement is great. Now, my income is simple, SSI which isn't taxed (yet) and a small annuity for a few more years from Chris's years at the State of TX which is taxable. When I pushed the final button last year it was "YOU OWE $69" - after recovering from hysterical fits of laughter I quickly approved a debit from my checking account (before they changed their mind) and so I felt absolutely no pain. I built that amount into this years "payables" as the income is the same and nothing has changed (other than the other day my left thumb started twitching?).

This being the 8th of April (I started early this year) I dumped out all the pertinent paper on my desk plop, flop and flip, 3 pieces of paper, not 3 bushels, and I began the task of meeting my obligation as a tax paying American citizen.

After the usual questions I arrived at one that asked "did you get the $250 we sent you last year?" - well, I darn sure would have remembered that, and in fact, I remember NOT getting it because it was NOT given to those of us living "off shore". So I said "NO" and continued on and at the end of the program it went back and checked everything and said I owed $41 - wow, a reduction in taxes, great (at least for a moment), but really guys I've budgeted all $69, why not just take it and call us even - ok? - I'm sure you can find a place to spend it - huh?

Here is where the real adventure begins and as per usual my lips went numb and my finger tips got all tingly and whatever as I read the next screen which basically said "because your government loves you and because we (for whatever nebulous reason) didn't sent you $250 we're going to give you a credit now and so you NOT ONLY DON'T OWE $41, BUT WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU BACK $209! - obviously of OPM (other people's money because I dang sure didn't send them any)

Well, you can imagine that not only did my lips go numb, I tingled all the way to my barefoot tippy toes at the thought that I was going to get an actual refund, not a cheezy $20 or something, but $2,633.40 pesos! - and this was primarily in spite of the fact I DIDN'T PAY A SINGLE RED AMERICAN PENNY IN TAXES TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IN THE YEAR 2009.

Once the euphoria (which lasted about 3 breaths) wore off I looked at the screen in disbelief and then went ballistic, in the States they go "postal" here we just go "loco".

Let's review the facts:

1. I paid NO tax in the US in 2009
2. I received money which IS taxable, they didn't withhold, I didn't pay, any tax, I simply converted it to pesos and bought tortillas and frijoles
3. Other than 2 weeks NOB I didn't pay any kind of tax in the US in 2009 even on chewing gum?
4. I did NOTreceive the $250 given to most citizens primarily because I have a Mexican address (but that's OK, I figure I got the better part of the deal)

Now, who doesn't want $209? - but, let's be realistic and realize that this is insanity, my country, at one time, the greatest nation in the world cannot be giving money to people like this - but then again, guess what? - they are, they have been and that's why America is well down the slippery slope to disaster and bankruptcy - a present to our children and their children; they're 'gonna love us for this one!

I repeat again with great disblief and incredulity; here I am sitting in MX paying no US taxes and they're giving me a "refund"??????? Where were they all the years I needed it?

This has got to stop, it's insanity, it can't continue. Will I send it back? - nope, with the prospect of a VAT tax etc. I'm hanging on to it just in case and in case I ever go back - but maybe now, more than ever, I'm a man without a country (to return to).

So much for my rant; I paid no tax in 2009 - but I'm getting back $209 for whatever insane reason, so I guess my overall net, or "adjusted gross income" is $33 for the year after the ranch property tax?

(You would think my thumb would stop twitching, but no, the bad news is that the other one is now also developing a distinct fidget?