We'll call him Rudolpho, or maybe just Rudy for short, because I don't know his real name, he looks like a "Rudolpho" and probably by now he's forgotten his real name anyway, Rudy is my favorite con man and I'm probably just one of his favorite suckers - you know the kind, we never learn, we just keep making the same mistakes again and again.

My first encounter with Rudy was at Pharmacia Guadalajara sometime last year, I had pulled into a parking space and looked down to get some change out of the center console, when I turned to open the door there he was, an almost cherubic round faced little Mexican fellow who was just standing there staring back at me with a pathetic destitute look on his face - now, that as an introduction was impressive. My window was open and he started his pitch, that day he was working his "you have a scratch, I fix for you" scam.

Not exactly being a stranger to parking lot scams (there are dozens) I brushed him off with the usual "no gracias, ho hoy" (no thanks, not today) phrase and proceeded to close the window and exit the car, he was just standing there like I'd stolen his last peso with a look on his face like "ok, I'm down, just go ahead, kick me again" - it was so genuine I basically laughed as I again said "no" and headed for the drugstore. When I came out he was still there, looking totally dejected.

Now, it's a well documented fact that animals can see the "sucker" sign on my forehead, but apparently little round faced MX con men can see it also. He proceeded to badger me and started pointing at what appeared to be scratches on the dark green paint of my Jeep. Of course the car was a bit (?) dirty and it was obvious the supposed scratches were behind the wheel well and were just patterns of muddy over spray, or dust which had dried. I continued to say no and he's pointing, so I reached down with my finger and wiped across one of the scratches to show it wasn't real. Of course this simply elicited an offer to wash the car. All the time he's keeping this serious face and I'm literally laughing out loud at his performance (and wondering why I'm even humoring him rather than driving away).

I say performance because this guy is a street performer, like a mime, his greatest asset is his face and "the look" he's perfected by obviously spending hours in front of a mirror practicing that dejected oh, poor me, look. I'd be willing to bet when he was born his Mother took one look at him and said something like "wow, this kid is going to be a money maker, a real con man, look at that face"! - and he's continued to practice and perfect it over the years to con guys like me. However, that day I got away clean.

The next encounter was at the pier where I park to walk up 2 blocks to pay the rent. Again, the same "hang dog" look and again the scratch routine. This time the car was clean and there was a minor surface scratch on the rear door post from a branch. For some inexplicable cosmic reason I was being charitable that day and again his performance is worth a donation. I asked ¿Cuánto cuesta? - (how much?). He said $100 pesos which is $10 and I said no, I'd give him $5 and we eventually decided on $8 - which of course was silly, but I went off to pay the rent and he went to work on the scratch.

When I returned I looked at it and the scratch was less evident primarily because he had used some compound which left horizontal scratches parallel to the original, more or less masking it and adding a bunch more? I said "that's a terrible job" and complained some and finally said ok and handed him $80 pesos, he saw a $100 peso note I had and pointed at it and started telling me he was hungry and I think his nina (little girl) was hungry and finally I gave him the $100p basically to get rid of him and headed home to get out the clear coat polishing creme to repair his damage, but, I was laughing as I left and shaking my head as much at his performance as my stupidity.

I've seen him another time or two at the pier and he remembers me (of course) now and it's "hey, mi amigo" etc. and I tell him "get away from the car, step back" etc., and I get the hang dog face.

Today I went to pay the rent and from the highway you go down Colon street (basically like Broadway, every town has one) which is narrow, I reach out and fold in my left mirror as it gets pretty narrow between the parked cars on the left and the utility poles on the right. As you bump along the 4-5 blocks to the pier you are often stopped by someone ahead stopping to let out or pick up someone, or some fool attempting to parallel park his car in an impossibly small space rather than walk an extra block. Then there are delivery trucks, although usually earlier in the morning, and you just patiently sit and wait for them to unload and move on, of course there was the day in Chapala when they were filling a propane tank on the roof, so traffic was blocked 3 ways for some time until it was full - you just wait.

As I was bumping along Rudy came to mind and I smiled and thought how he needed to improve his hang dog act as this is the new year and he needs new material. I pulled up and parked and no more got out of the car and - "hey mi amigo" from Rudy with open arms. I couldn't help but laugh and greet him with the usual bro handshake and he wants to wash the car, but I said no, I'd only be there a few minutes. Then he starts on a new routine, his little nina is muerto (died) and again with the face he's giving me a graphic description grabbing at his side, then his chest and then the praying hands beside the head to indicate she died. He said they took her to Guadalajara and the medicina cost $350 pesos, like that was a fortune, and he's wearing a football shirt that cost at least $200 pesos. But, what could I do, I got very solemn and said that was terrible and I was sorry.

So, this went on for a few minutes and it's hard to tell if she really died, or if he even has a little girl, or is even married for that matter? - but, the performance was good and after a minute or two I told him I was thinking about him and how he has that "hang dog" or perro (dog) look and I illustrated by hanging my head and looking down, he sort of laughed as I told him it looked good, but he needed to add to his performance. I told him in the United States we have a saying "man, that's cold" and again with my hand on his shoulder I demonstrated that and told him that when he asked to wash someone's car and they said no, he should give them one of his sad looks and say "man, that's cold". Again he smiled and almost for an instant looked a bit sheepish like he'd been caught, but that vanished in another instant.

Several times he'd wished me feliz navidad and feliz año nuevo and then he patted his stomach and said business wasn't good, so I dug in my pocket to get him $20 pesos, but had 50's and 100's in the clip so I pulled out $50p and handed it to him saying "and feliz navidad to you as well". as I'm putting the clip back on the bills he pointed to the $100p note and asked for it, of course I howled and said NO - and he laughed as well like "well man, it don't cost to ask".

If Rudy ever outgrows that face he's in trouble because he'll have to go to work in an honest job, but until then I'd bet he does ok and after all, it's still the season of giving and it's a great performance - but with him, he figures that goes all year round?