Of course I'm way overdue for a new "story" and so here it is - at least as it stands up until now, but stay tuned, there may be further chapters - sort of like an onion, you peel off layers and sometimes you cry.

This is really a story with a warning to anyone with a passport, and more and more of us have them these days. Passports are another of those nuisance revenue generators required the big government these days, terrorists don't need them, illegals don't need them, but gosh help Joe upstanding citizen that looses his. You used to be able to go to MX on your birth certificate and to Canada with a smile and a wave - those days are history, now you WILL need a passport to get back home and more than likely you will go through a number of checkpoints manned by guys with big automatic weapons and serious faces (or in some cases in MX, ski masks which can be a whole other level of pucker factor) depending on where you travel and what or who they're looking for that day.

The main character in this story is Margaret, yes, my neighbor whom hates to be named, but I'm tired of saying "my neighbor did this, my neighbor did that" - so, this is Margaret's "great adventure".

First, Margaret worked for Air Canada for many years and has literally traveled the world for 40 years and so qualifies as an expert seasoned traveler, she has never lost her passport - until now. On her return from Canada in Nov apparently her passport was lifted from an open valise as she was boarding in MX city for the Guad return flight. When she got home all she had was her FM3 MX visa, no passport, so began the round of festivities (are we having fun yet???) which continue as we speak.

She immediately called the Canadian Consulate to report it and, as instructed, we found our way to it's location near Centro Guadalajara (always an adventure in itself) to begin the long and tortured "process". She received paperwork and instructions on required documentation. Now, we all have copies of all our papers, so those existed for starters. Back here at lakeside she had to file a "police" report for documentation. Well, of course the local Chapala police could care less about a passport stolen in MX City. Next she went to the lawyer who does our FM3's as hers was due to expire Dec 13th - yes, you do need your passport to renew it, enter problem #2. From the lawyer she went to the Ministerio Publico, sort of a State's Attorney. Without dragging you kicking and screaming through all the details, it took several trips, several hours including being stonewalled by an employee dressed in Goth, with all the personality of the dead, and finally another visit accompanied by the lawyer to get the report filed. This was on Thurs after the first trip to the consulate the previous Friday.

Included in the mix was the consulate wanting to see her birth certificate and/or citizenship papers. Margaret was born in Ireland and immigrated to Canada as a child. Generally, unless you live here, as I do, you don't have those sorts of original papers with you for obvious reasons. So, this brought on the need for personal references to validate she's actually a Canuck and trustworthy (I guess?).

Keep in mind all this is to get an emergency "Get Home Free" 2 day pass! Yes, the goal was to acquire an emergency document that would allow her to travel for 2 days only (to be specified) one way only, back to the great frozen North to apply for a whole new golden passport. Enter kink #3; because as a retired airline employee she flies standby and isn't guaranteed a seat and she does not have, or get, an actual ticket - which was obviously something totally new to the consulate. So, what to do? - well, write a letter saying "I don't have my BC with me because it's in my house in Elliot Lake Ontario" and write a letter saying "I don't have a ticket because I fly at the mercy of Air Canada". Max and I printed them with multiple copies.

The Ministerio had said to return the following Weds to get the certified report (5 copies necessary). In the mean time she was downloading forms to "declare" the loss of the passport, Max and I printed as necessary.

On Weds she returned to the Ministerio and finally got the official paperwork (which is a story in itself).

Finally we loaded the half ton of paperwork into the Jeep and headed to the Consulate two weeks ago Friday for a personal interview and more forms that needed filling out. From there the, now voluminous, file was sent by diplomatic courier pouch to Ottowa to be recorded, prayed over, blessed and hopefully granted a divine dispensation (or whatever they do in Ottowa). We made our appt for the 3rd visit to the consulate last Friday for issuance of the 2 day "get out of jail" pass so she could travel today the 14th to Toronto.

The 3rd trip to the heart of the beast was successful and she got the (now) cherished document and a caution that Air Mexicana and MX security might not look kindly on the documents. Ok, well what else is there to do, but smile and press onward through the fog. Of course this was all interspersed with normal life if you can call trapping wild cats and taking them to the vet for appropriate "pruning" and raising 3 kittens that could charm the socks off Attila the Hun normal while destroying everything in sight. Add in social events of the season and the schedule has been full to overflowing. Of course the stress was mostly out in the casita, I'm just the printer and driver, so I smile a lot, but I do have a vested interest in making sure Santa delivers in Canada and she returns, or I'm not only stuck with the 3 kittens, but more important I'd loose a source of great spaghetti sauce.

A parallel course of events was unfolding in the frozen N. It turns out she has to have her original birth certificate and papers to get the new passport. These are in her home in Elliot Lake which is a plane trip from Toronto to Sudbury and a 100 mile drive through the snow belt. Fortunately her friend and neighbor was told where to search and did find the documents last weekend.

SUMMARY REVIEW: Stepping back for a high level view, the facts are as follows: Margaret now has no passport to reenter Canada, only a 2 day pass, her MX visa expired yesterday and she needs the passport to get another visa or even a "FM3 letter of passage" allowing her to reenter MX on her return, so she's more or less a lady without a country - or at least one that is glad to see her. We talked last night and she wasn't even going to take the expired FM3 visa with her, but my partners from Albq found out the hard way $$$ you have to turn in visas, even Tourist and even if expired, so I suggested she take it along just in case.

Monday 6am we head for the aeropuerto and it was absolutely packed so by the time she got to ticketing she missed the early flight to MX City, but there are at least 2 more that would get her to MX City in time to catch the Air Canada flight to Toronto. Flying from here to MX City is a domestic flight, so no immigration/passport/visa stuff yet.

I came home and proceeded with the days events and was having a bit of lunch about 1:30 when the phone rang. It was Margaret thanking me for the FM3 advise. In MX city it had taken something close to 3 hours and 3 failed attempts to get through security/immigration and only on the 4th was she cleared to board Air Canada. I can't even tell you the convoluted series of misadventures going from office to office, back out of security, back in through security to find another person who would hopefully help etc. One of the first things they asked for was her FM3 which fortunately she had. She explained it had expired, but that was ok because she could officially turn it in and then when she comes back after Christmas she'll return on a Tourist visa and start over on a new FM3 (which reminds me I need to get a letter from our Rental company telling that she is actually living here?). If she had not had the FM3 to turn in, it's almost certain she'd be returning here with no way to get home for Christmas, no passport and no visa - truly "without a country of refuge".

Back in MX City, one "lady" MX immigration security agent would simply not accept her paperwork and turned her back twice even though she did exactly as instructed and returned to that checkpoint after completing the "scavenger hunt" and talking to other officials who sent her back to "brick wall". Finally she found a young man who once again took her back to the starting point, managed to get her paperwork officially stamped and told her to avoid, at all costs, the security agent who apparently runs on her own set of rules (not at all uncommon in MX). This time she managed to get through to the boarding area from where she called me.

About now she's at 30,000' where it's 30 degrees below zero, about 4 degrees cooler than Toronto? - but, she's headed for "home" and Christmas and hopefully Santa's big scene.

Back on the ground her friend and neighbor who found the original documents is expressing them and they are also airborne (we hope) to Toronto to start the application for a new passport tomorrow hopefully in time for Santa to bring her a shiny new golden passport for Christmas to facilitate her return to the sunny climes of MX the 26th. But, who knows, there are still many potential knotholes to be dragged through and this may not be the last chapter.

The moral of this little adventure is that if you have a passport, or get one for a sunny vacation etc. treasure it like the gold it is and protect it with your life or you'll use up years of your life trying to straighten out the mess you'll find yourself in.

Of course Max and I take this time to say Merry Merry Christmas to one and all and best wishes for a prosperous New Year 2010.