A tope grows in Riberas
Ok, so I'm in a contentious mood this morning and I'm finding any reason I can NOT to study my Spanish, so I'll use this time to gently disagree with a couple of things life has dealt me.
Starting with Spanish, I need it, I want it; yesterday I was in Guad and the only thing I could say to a Home Depot employee who asked (I assume) if I needed help, was "lo siento" (I'm sorry) which immediately confirms you're another illiterate gringo. So why am I fighting the learning process so hard? Well, maybe it's because Spanish is (to be gentle) "odd". Things in Spanish are male and female, which might be ok on the surface, but there is no logic. A man's shirt is "la camisa" which is feminine, you can tell by the "la" vs. "el". A car is "el coche" which makes sense, but a house is "la casa" - feminine, but not everything in the house is feminine? And food? - don't even go there, it's "la" enchilada and "el" taco (I think).
And it goes on and on because once you know the gender, all the adjectives and verbs and stuff have to match. Spanish does not have "do" or "does" and no contractions at all? And it's out of sequence, like we ask what's John eating, or what does John eat? they ask "what eats John?" - well, nothing is eating John dummy, he's just having lunch. So, after 60+ years of shining literacy I'm now expected to think & talk in reverse? Ai Chihuahua.
Next "topes" the title of this thread and the curse of Mexico. The usual justification for this devil's hump in the middle of otherwise smooth roads is that they're a cheap traffic control system. Ok, that might be true in some cases, but many times when you're driving along a nice highway through the beautiful countryside just gazing at the surroundings you suddenly realize you're approaching a large hump in the road and you're going 50 mph and if you don't immediately jam on the brakes, causing everything in the back of the car to suddenly move to the front of the car, you will be in for the jarring of your life at the very least. You'll be thrust upwards violently jamming your 3rd and 4th vertebrae together, your suspension will be jammed to the bump stops, your shocks will be useless, your tires will hit so hard a flat spot will thump along for the next 5 miles until they recover and round out again. And unless you're a tall SUV, say goodbye to your exhaust system.
Of course, if you have anyone else in the car you are required to shout in a loud screeching voice at the top of your lungs "TOPE" with the hope their reflexes are sufficient to preserve life and limb because you ain't got time to help them, you're just trying to survive yourself, at this point it's every man for himself.
There are also variations of "tope chicken" where you wonder how fast you can go over the tope and if there is actually a hole on the other side of that innocent devil's hump in the road which will compound your experience by dropping you from a tope mountain into a rut valley - only to be jarred back up to road level (a MX twofer). Or, you're behind a slow moving truck and trying to pass, as you approach a tope you know he has to slow down from the turtle's pace he's currently doing to almost a full stop providing you a window of opportunity, you can gauge your timing, whip out and pass on the tope hoping you can clear it faster than him, that you can then speed up and return to your lane before getting squashed like a bug by the oncoming truck - works most times because the oncoming truck is also slowing for his side of the tope - that is unless he doesn't know one is there and is coming full speed, but that's where the "chicken" or "pollo" part comes in and no, I don't know if it's la pollo or el pollo? - it only matters to chickens.
Day before yesterday I noticed a tope is growing on a dirt street I take to get to/from the estate. If you can't picture this, I posted a pic at http://chapalaweather.net/Documents/tope.jpg it's the concrete mound to the lower right plainly marked with the 6 brick traffic warning thingy's. As you can see the street ends in about 100', so you can't be going fast at this point anyway and unless you're driving a nitro dragster you can't start at that end of the street and get much speed to this point, but there it is.
Topes are probably a manifestation of the belief that "if some is good, more is better" or in the local jargon "si algunos es buena, mas mejor"? Besides being hard on your car and your backside it's destructive, I was bringing home one of my priceless pre-Columbian pieces of art and hit a hidden tope in Tonala and broke it into 4 pieces - oh, that's the other thing, they put them in shadows of trees, or bridges etc. so you can't easily see them. It provides income for the locals - really! In El Chante on a nice weekend with lots of turistas you will find all manner of stuff being hawked by vendors as you creep over the topes. You can get birds, gum, candy, or birds with gum & candy.
Generally there is a combination suspension/muffler/*Abbarotes shop directly adjoining a field of topes, there you can swerve off the road (under or out of control) and they will sell you a new tire to replace the one that just blew out, repair a bent A-frame or blown shock absorber while you calm your jangled nerves with a cool (frio) cerveza.
Often, as some of the unique things in this wonderful land surprise you, you realize you're saying "now, why the heck would they do that" out loud and as you turn to the person with you, the two of you say in unison "but then this IS Mexico" and you go on your merry way.
Ok, I've exhausted this study dodge, so guess I'll take a shower and hit the books, maybe I can find out if it's "el" pollo or "la" pollo - I could look in my 501 Spanish Verbs Conjugated book but I don't think pollo is a verb?
* Abbarotes, sort of a Mexican version of our convenience stores, liberally translated it's something like "little things". Typically a small hole in the wall packed with Coke, chips, cerveza, Coke, some fruta, Coke and gum. (yes, Mexicans love Coke and drink it in huge quantities which also leads to Mexican's having the highest rate of sugar diabetes in the world)
Starting with Spanish, I need it, I want it; yesterday I was in Guad and the only thing I could say to a Home Depot employee who asked (I assume) if I needed help, was "lo siento" (I'm sorry) which immediately confirms you're another illiterate gringo. So why am I fighting the learning process so hard? Well, maybe it's because Spanish is (to be gentle) "odd". Things in Spanish are male and female, which might be ok on the surface, but there is no logic. A man's shirt is "la camisa" which is feminine, you can tell by the "la" vs. "el". A car is "el coche" which makes sense, but a house is "la casa" - feminine, but not everything in the house is feminine? And food? - don't even go there, it's "la" enchilada and "el" taco (I think).
And it goes on and on because once you know the gender, all the adjectives and verbs and stuff have to match. Spanish does not have "do" or "does" and no contractions at all? And it's out of sequence, like we ask what's John eating, or what does John eat? they ask "what eats John?" - well, nothing is eating John dummy, he's just having lunch. So, after 60+ years of shining literacy I'm now expected to think & talk in reverse? Ai Chihuahua.
Next "topes" the title of this thread and the curse of Mexico. The usual justification for this devil's hump in the middle of otherwise smooth roads is that they're a cheap traffic control system. Ok, that might be true in some cases, but many times when you're driving along a nice highway through the beautiful countryside just gazing at the surroundings you suddenly realize you're approaching a large hump in the road and you're going 50 mph and if you don't immediately jam on the brakes, causing everything in the back of the car to suddenly move to the front of the car, you will be in for the jarring of your life at the very least. You'll be thrust upwards violently jamming your 3rd and 4th vertebrae together, your suspension will be jammed to the bump stops, your shocks will be useless, your tires will hit so hard a flat spot will thump along for the next 5 miles until they recover and round out again. And unless you're a tall SUV, say goodbye to your exhaust system.
Of course, if you have anyone else in the car you are required to shout in a loud screeching voice at the top of your lungs "TOPE" with the hope their reflexes are sufficient to preserve life and limb because you ain't got time to help them, you're just trying to survive yourself, at this point it's every man for himself.
There are also variations of "tope chicken" where you wonder how fast you can go over the tope and if there is actually a hole on the other side of that innocent devil's hump in the road which will compound your experience by dropping you from a tope mountain into a rut valley - only to be jarred back up to road level (a MX twofer). Or, you're behind a slow moving truck and trying to pass, as you approach a tope you know he has to slow down from the turtle's pace he's currently doing to almost a full stop providing you a window of opportunity, you can gauge your timing, whip out and pass on the tope hoping you can clear it faster than him, that you can then speed up and return to your lane before getting squashed like a bug by the oncoming truck - works most times because the oncoming truck is also slowing for his side of the tope - that is unless he doesn't know one is there and is coming full speed, but that's where the "chicken" or "pollo" part comes in and no, I don't know if it's la pollo or el pollo? - it only matters to chickens.
Day before yesterday I noticed a tope is growing on a dirt street I take to get to/from the estate. If you can't picture this, I posted a pic at http://chapalaweather.net/Documents/tope.jpg it's the concrete mound to the lower right plainly marked with the 6 brick traffic warning thingy's. As you can see the street ends in about 100', so you can't be going fast at this point anyway and unless you're driving a nitro dragster you can't start at that end of the street and get much speed to this point, but there it is.
Topes are probably a manifestation of the belief that "if some is good, more is better" or in the local jargon "si algunos es buena, mas mejor"? Besides being hard on your car and your backside it's destructive, I was bringing home one of my priceless pre-Columbian pieces of art and hit a hidden tope in Tonala and broke it into 4 pieces - oh, that's the other thing, they put them in shadows of trees, or bridges etc. so you can't easily see them. It provides income for the locals - really! In El Chante on a nice weekend with lots of turistas you will find all manner of stuff being hawked by vendors as you creep over the topes. You can get birds, gum, candy, or birds with gum & candy.
Generally there is a combination suspension/muffler/*Abbarotes shop directly adjoining a field of topes, there you can swerve off the road (under or out of control) and they will sell you a new tire to replace the one that just blew out, repair a bent A-frame or blown shock absorber while you calm your jangled nerves with a cool (frio) cerveza.
Often, as some of the unique things in this wonderful land surprise you, you realize you're saying "now, why the heck would they do that" out loud and as you turn to the person with you, the two of you say in unison "but then this IS Mexico" and you go on your merry way.
Ok, I've exhausted this study dodge, so guess I'll take a shower and hit the books, maybe I can find out if it's "el" pollo or "la" pollo - I could look in my 501 Spanish Verbs Conjugated book but I don't think pollo is a verb?
* Abbarotes, sort of a Mexican version of our convenience stores, liberally translated it's something like "little things". Typically a small hole in the wall packed with Coke, chips, cerveza, Coke, some fruta, Coke and gum. (yes, Mexicans love Coke and drink it in huge quantities which also leads to Mexican's having the highest rate of sugar diabetes in the world)
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