Two weeks ago this moment I was careening across MX on my way to Texas and ultimately to Colorado to see my dear 93 year old Mother – you're never too old to go home to see Mom.

I try to leave the compound around 5am because it's a 12 hour drive and that gets me into Laredo at a respectable hour. So there I was about 10 hours later winding through the mountains descending into Monterey and their cloud of pollution when suddenly I began to encounter a migrating cloud of yellow butterflies, there were millions of them, I could tell because I was hitting tens of thousands all by myself. At about 125kph they hit the windshield with a rather audible “smack” and I thought wow, what a cosmic coincidence that this poor butterfly should commit suicide on my windshield at this moment in time and space. I mean if he had been a few seconds faster or slower he could have continued on his way to wherever and if I had been a few minutes earlier or later we'd never have completed our fateful meeting.

This took my thoughts back to earlier in the morning when in the predawn darkness as I was motoring along at about 65mph or 100kph I rounded a curve and a large highway sign was suddenly illuminated in my headlights, it offered 3 options, right to Leon, left to Encamacion or straight to die, being in the fast lane and feeling the pressure to make an immediate decision I opted left because I knew I didn't want to go to Leon – wrongo. The exit dumped me rather unceremoniously onto a tope riddled off ramp to nowhere MX? - I bounced/slid to a halt realizing my error I looked for a re-entry point back onto the couta (toll road) I had been on, but nothing was obvious so I headed for Encamacion as it was on MX80 which was more or less the road I needed – I hoped.

Now on a 2 lane road to nowhere the light was beginning to glow in the east indicating I was going north when I wanted to be going E or NE toward Lagos del Moreno. A map indicated I could head back south at Encamacion and dodging early morning trucks in the twisting turning road I finally managed to get to Lagos only about 18 miles, but 40 minutes delayed from my original schedule.

This section of the trip is the worst, a miserable 2 lane stretch of road winding through hills and curves and specifically designed for suicidal truck drivers to not only end their lives, but anyone unfortunate enough to be in the oncoming lane. It's completely normal to see double trailer 18 wheelers passing each other on blind hills/curves etc. and interspersed among these suicide jockeys are cars piloted by white knuckled drivers of all varying temperaments and abilities, some driving as cautious as Aunt Hilda and others (presumably macho Tapatios from GDL) determined to pass anything not going at least 150kph – and me, somewhere in between.

Finally I hit the stretch of couta that bypasses San Luis Potosi and started making up a bit of time, I set cruise on about 130kph and let it roll. Out on the coutas you occasionally encounter a Federal Police car or “Federalli” who drive black Dodge Chargers with a white stripe. Generally they don't bother you much so exceeding the posted speed of 110kph by a few clicks isn't a problem. However near SLP I thought I saw a white police car and slowed a bit and after passing I picked the speed up again and just about then the radar detector lit up, they shot me in the back - cowards!

Again I slowed and patiently waited for them to catch me and eventually they did (with my help) and so began my new experience. The first cop wanted my license and I carry an out of date one just for such occasions because as soon as you give them your good one the balance of power shifts to them, they now have something you need. He spoke as much English as I do Spanish but it was clear he thought I was speeding? - I feigned astonishment that he could say such a thing and ended my little animated dissertation by saying “well, maybe pocito”. Next he wanted my import papers for the car and I knew he had absolutely no authority to ask for them, but something about 2 Mexicans with guns in the middle of nowhere makes me rather submissive, so I handed over copies I carry. You carry copies of everything, nothing original.

Import papers are dated to match your initial visa term and as I had entered a year ago on a 6 month tourist visa the papers showed “Expires March 2008”. The rest of the story is that your import is valid as long as you have a valid visa without regard to what the paper says. I carry a document in Spanish attesting to that very fact just for little encounters like this. So he's pointing to the date and I'm proudly waving my new FM3 visa telling him “not a problema” and didn't have to whip out the document.

So, failing to intimidate me on the papers issue (which I retrieved) he next went to the expired license and again I did my best dumb act and was telling him “that's why I'm going to Texas to get a new one” and after a round or two I realized that wasn't going to fly and said “oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, that's the wrong license” and reaching for the one he had, which he didn't want to give up, I reached for my good one and again said “I'm so sorry, this is the correct one” and of course he quickly glommed onto the new one and I thought “oops, that was dumb”. Walking around the car he couldn't find anything else to complain about so we were back to my speeding transgression which was only about 10mph.

I had 40 pesos tucked in the center console for the next toll station and I asked him if I could just give him the money and he could take care of it – which didn't sway him much. All during this little Mexican two step they were playing the good cop bad cop routine on me. So now it was time for bad cop to lecture me and I honestly didn't understand what he wanted, I thought maybe he wanted me to follow him into SLP to pay (remember, he still had my good license), but that didn't seem to be what he was saying, I was honestly at a loss, so he goes back to talk to the good cop and probably said something to the effect that “this gringo is dumber than a box of rocks, just get his money and we'll go to Rosie's Cantina”.

Approach the good cop while his buddy is back at their car filling out the ticket on a faded mimeographed piece of paper. I went for the next part of my plan to extricate myself from this little faux pa and whipped out the universal translator (calculator) and punched in 100 and showed it to good cop, he thought I was talking speed limit and reached in to point to the speedometer and said “ciento diez” (110) which is the speed limit, of course I knew that. After another round of dumb and dumber he realized I was offering to “pay my ticket” with $100p (about $10) and said “oh no senior, much more” - so I asked “cuánto?” and he punched in 800 and I said in a loud shocked voice “800? - NO, I'M NOT GIVING YOU 800” - and he quickly pointed to the calculator saying “pesos, pesos” - and again I repeated “NO” and entered 400 and he said well (and as he was thinking) he entered 500 and I said “FINE, FINE” and fished out $500p and signed the mimeographed copy and I'm sure they went straight back into town and paid my probably $50p fine and took my $450p “delivery fee” and headed for Rosies Cantina.

I have never before, or since, seen a local cop on the couta so I suspect they have no authority and I happened to pass at the wrong time. And like the butterfly I was a victim of timing and cosmic consequence, some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

Prologue San Luis Potosi: on the return trip I made a wrong turn and had to backtrack a few miles, so I've been through the SLP area 4 times now and 3 have been a problem, the curse of San Luis Potosi haunts me.

When I eventually got to Laredo I crossed, checked into the La Quinta (translated it means “next to Denny's”) and headed for the nearest Taco Bell for a junk food fix. Next I turned into a big shopping center and drove around it twice just enjoying being able to read all the signs. The next morning I stopped at the Immigration check point N of Lardo and the guy asks “are you a US citizen” and I answered “yes, and after a year in MX it's great to be able to read all the signs again” - he laughed and said “welcome home”.