We’ve all heard about the “perfect storm” etc. and all stick sailors (sailboaters) seek the perfect wind, but for months I also have sought the perfect wind.

Let’s back up a moment, the winds here typically blow east to west, west to east, - - - well, you get the idea, unlike NOB with weather patterns tend to make you notice a north wind we bask in basically boring patterns or lack thereof here in paradise.

I’ve been told the wind pattern east to west changes 4 times a year which is fine – just as long as we can depend on it? Usually in the morning there is a gentle breeze off the lake from S to N which is nice as it blows any smoke away from us here at lakeshore (probably disturbing the snotty elites that live “up on the mountainside overlooking  the lake and us”) – but, so be it.

Back to the need for the “perfect wind” - last year there was basically a monsoon which flooded my area and while not in the houses, it overran the estate and deposited a layer of silt. They washed away as much as possible, but the residual, which the 8 months of dry weather has turned into a fine dust, is blown at the whim of any breeze from any quadrant to everywhere, mostly onto things in the house that need to be dusted.

The driveway is about 180’ from the gate past the casita back to the circle drive in front of the casa grande and is “paved” with cobbleboulders cemented in place; I estimate approximately 8,954 round topped “rocks” (there ain’t flagstone folks) set in cement. While being paved is nice, the surface is irregular and tends to collect dust, dirt, leaves, small bugs etc. and attempts to wash the residue away with a normal hose (at low pressure) is like pushing a rock uphill.

As soon as I moved in I could see the problem and that a normal hose or Pedro’s broom weren’t going to fix the problem and while it’s dusty now, next month when the rains start it will be mud. Every few days I’d say “wish I had my big blower and my power washer stored in TX”. So in Jan when I was up there I brought them back and waited – waited for the perfect wind.

I have a small blower I use daily on the decks and it does a great job, but to clear the drive I needed horsepower and the big blower has it, it makes the small one feel like a babies breath by comparison. I mean, this thing delivers a 200 mph blast of air - or so they claim, it will blow the fuzz right off a peach.

But, raising that much dust meant it had to be planned and directed. The wind couldn’t be from the N or it would blow into the house, it couldn’t be from the W or it would blow into the old folks home, it really needed to be from the SSE so it would blow away from the houses and also right up the driveway and out the front gate – and today was the day.

When I realized it was from the perfect quadrant and a brisk breeze to boot, I grabbed the big blower and 100’ of extension cords and headed out scattering cats as I went (they recognize things that make noise and want no part of it).

I was blowing dust, dirt, leaves, fallen flower petals you name it, I’d have uprooted cobblestones if they weren’t cemented down. After about an hour the place looked 100% better although not completely cleaned so there is more to do, I closed the gate behind the cloud of dust and smiled at a job well done.

With such a wonderful accomplishment I decided another thing needing to be done for a couple of months was on the agenda - a car wash. Now, washing the car here is mostly tradition as the dust and inevitably someone’s water runoff creating a mud puddle will kill a wash job faster than you can say "shazaam". But, feeling emboldened I headed for the car wash anyway.

When I pulled in they were finishing the car ahead in the wash area so I figured it wouldn't be too bad - knock knock hellllloooo Steve, remember where you are - you're not in Kansas, this is Mexico and everything takes a long time. So I strolled over to an available palm tree and leaned on it until it assumed a permanent 20 degree list, watching while they wash and washed and washed some more.

These guys weren't sitting on their hands, they were moving all the time, but how can you possibly take nearly 2 hours to wash one car??? They do a heck of a job, it's really more of a "detail" job (and the interior did need it) that you'd probably pay $40 NOB for, but here it’s $5 and a buck tip so the value is exceptional, but 2 hours?

I drove the long way home through Chapala to show off the car before getting to the dirt street out front. What can I say, this IS Mexico.

Oh, here's a funny, I sort of got acquainted with two guys who drive the dump truck filling the lot next door, I call them Homer and Jethro. I kid with them etc. and day before yesterday I needed a short length of large plastic pipe to make a small pedestal for the satellite receiver (don't ask) and could see some pieces in the fill next door, so yesterday when they were dumping a load (the lot is fenced and locked now) I went over and told them I need a piece of pipe and took the 6" piece I needed and thanked them. I cut off the 3 1/4" I needed, painted it and the project was complete.

Yesterday afternoon the gate bell rang and I opened it to find Homer standing there with a 7' piece of 6" pipe and a big smile on his face, “hey Senior, cómo estás” - what could I do but thank him profusely and store it in the bodega. These people are the nicest folks you could hope to meet.