Pretty much a normal day in paradise, my horridscope said that I had “something to say” and so write it or whatever, it’s late, over the past few days I’ve frosted a significant percentage of people on the forum, but there’s a whole day to do something to write about and here it is.

The first priority this morning after the sun came up was to check the ground level temp sensor on the weather station. The last couple of days it had briefly failed to report in the predawn cold (well, 50 is cold here?). Yesterday afternoon I put in new batteries and didn’t bother to check until last night when it was obvious that it still wasn’t reporting, or the temp at 10pm was 80 – I knew it was only 70, so a problem was evident.

At first light I disassembled the sensor and it’s little house and checked and eventually had to reboot the station to get it to accept the input, so the first big problem of the day fixed, I could just see people who rely on the station not knowing whether to put on their Skidoo suits (Canadian women are really hot in Skidoo suits?) or shorts.

Next I spent some time doing paperwork accounting stuff and then decided to blow the jacaranda blossoms off the decks and skim the pool (both futile efforts), but it looked nice for a few minutes.

Then I needed to take my new lease (+ another $200) to the rental office to lock in my claim on the estate until June ’09. The morning was fresh and nice, the traffic laughable as usual (laughing helps to soothe the beast within me) like the pickup that pulled around half a block of stopped traffic at a light, drove down the wrong side of the street,  to make an illegal left turn – I just smiled and folded in my drivers mirror (streets are narrow in the village).

At the rental office I joked with Alex the young fellow who collects money by telling him before I left I was going to overpay him one day just to see what it would feel like to have him give me money back, a nearby lady let out a laugh. He just smiled and said “too much ain’t enough” – I think he learned that one from me.

From there I did some exploring to find the iron works that can make my new curtain rods and then stopped by a lighting place in the plaza to see if they had a bug zapper. Now came the challenge trying to explain a bug zapper to a young lady – you know (I’m making buzzing sounds and simulating bugs with my fingers and then “zzzzzap”? – no, no insectos zap, oh well I tried, the bobo’s are safe for another day.

Fairly near home I was behind a huge red dump truck. Now, I sit pretty tall in the Jeep, but this thing was a huge tall red wall blocking out everything ahead. We stopped for a light and then as we were starting (slowly) I heard it making come clanking clunking sounds that didn’t sound good and then as he gently rolled forward a big U-joint and an 8” piece of drive shaft fell out on the road in front of me. Quickly analyzing the situation I knew I’d be trapped behind him in an instant unless I could pass (and this is at a narrow part of a 2 lanes). So I grabbed a quick look and shot around him and onward as I saw the driver collecting the leftover parts and the traffic is probably still backed up.

I decided to head on to Soriana the grocery and stuff place to get a couple cans of spray paint and some hand lotion. So there I am walking the isles looking at bottles trying to imagine what “hand lotion” would look like in Spanish. I recognized many things, but not “mano loción” as it turns out to be. I’m sure I looked at it because I looked at everything from spike hair gel to Gold Bond rash remover, but no mano loción. Also I needed aspirin so I’m looking for big bottles? – nada. I actually asked where they were and was directed to some boxes that said “aspirina” which I could have guessed, but in a box? I threw one in the basket and headed for the paint, on the way there were a few more things I needed while there (like $510 pesos and 38 centavos worth, you’ll see why I can remember this number later) so I pulled into the register and the next challenge was waiting for me.

The attractive dark eyed young lady checking smiled and asked something like “¿tiene usted su tarjeta de recompensas?” Of course I didn’t understand a word she said, but recognized it as a question by the inflection in her voice. By this time I’ve learned they generally realize you “no habla español” and so they ask simple yes or no questions and hope you guess right.

By this time the section of brain that makes big decisions is on full alert and is ready to respond. Weighing all the relative factors; like where you are, she is attractive, you are buying groceries, it came up with 3 possibilities. First, she thinks you’re an attractive (if old) gringo that would make a great father for her kids and she wants to invite you to meet them, yes or no?  - next she wants to know if you think she is sexy in the skin tight sweater and jeans she’s wearing (even though she’s a bit chunky for them), yes or no? - or lastly she wants to know if you have your Soriana rewards card so she can apply the purchase discount, yes or no? All this is analyzed in a blinding millisecond flash of the old brain cells and the decision was - - - do you have your card, yes or no? – that was the winner and seemed most logical. I didn’t hesitate a moment, acting like I perfectly understood her I answered “si” and reached in my pocket and laid it on her.

As the grand total came up on the screen I handed her my debit card, which she zipped and rezipped, we’re both standing there staring at $510.38p and the card ain’t working! Fortunately I had $600p in cash, but wasn’t about to give that up as there will be a cash shortage at the ATM’s this next week and the banks are almost not open, but that’s another story. By this time a young manager shows up and from him I got two words, tarjeta de “crédito” and “sistema” and again with infallible intellect the decision section figured the system ain’t accepting the card today, always has before, but not today, technology is a hoot when it works.

I went for card #2 and AMX bailed me out (for a 2% surcharge). I tipped the abuela (grandmother) who bagged my groceries and headed for the car. “No gracias” to the kids wanting to push my cart and home again.

Later I got the wrought iron chairs ready to be sprayed and shook up the first can of spray and opened it and no spray nozzle? – hmm, must have been a mistake, try can #2,  nope, no nozzle? – so, it’s either an attempt to keep kids from buying and spraying graffiti etc., or to keep people from testing the spray in the store, but all it did was frost an old gringo. Fortunately I had a can of spray here and used the nozzle, so now the wrought iron settee looks new.

As to why I didn’t want to give up the cash? – well, it’s like this from a quote on the forum “next Monday is a day off for Benito Juarez, in addition to being St. Patrick's Day. The banks will only be open on Tuesday and Wednesday, as Thursday and Friday are vacation days for Semana Santa. Stock up on your cash before the ATM's are depleted by the vacationing horde.” Which is a reference to the Tapatios from Guadalajara who infest us each weekend.

All in all just another typical day in paradise (and people wonder how I keep busy).