Today the closing finally happened and it was all the emotions you would imagine, yet almost a lack of emotion, more a numbing time, even “is this all there is?” The entire month since the buyer’s first visit has been much like pushing a very large boulder up a hill one inch at a time, one more tiny bit each day and just when it seemed we were finally making progress, it rolled back and we had to push again and harder.

My realtor asked what was the worst part of this whole process, I told him that I had tried to prepare myself for the emotional part, but I wasn’t at all prepared for the hostility of the continued caustic negotiations on every item and every level no matter how small until the very end. I wasn’t prepared for my character to literally be brought into question and I wasn’t prepared to be pushed into thinking and acting like someone whom I am not. 

But, it is what it is and now I am a “renter” in my own home for a few more days as I close out and prepare to move to Mexico.

The closing agent was exceptionally nice and helpful and without her and Stewart my agent I could never have survived this trial. Today as she handed me the final check she asked if I felt better, I said “you know how when you pull a big sliver out of your finger it feels good? – well, I’m still numb”. 

Maybe tomorrow I’ll begin to feel it, or maybe it will be one day when I begin to write the next chapter of my life, until then there is much to do and little time.